Eryk Von Bicken

Un hombre perdido entre un mundo y sus sueños

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Location: Cartagena, Murcia, Spain

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Te pido mis más humildes disculpas, dulce amiga; pero era algo que debía hacer. Nunca he permanecido tanto tiempo carcomiéndome en mis paradojas, nunca he sentido de forma tan profunda inquietud y recelo de mí mismo. A veces pienso que la cordura es un bien sólo aceptable para el que está loco. ¿Pero qué es estar loco realmente? Amar y no ser visto. He pensado muchas veces en el significado de tu aparición, he pensado mil veces en lo que debía cambiar de mí mismo y lo que estaba dispuesto a observar de mis entrañas. Mil sueños he tenido en respuesta a mil plegarias, pero a cual más confuso. A veces pienso en cerrar los ojos y dejarme guiar como un ciego. Pienso que, tal vez, la vida sin poder ver es la mejor solución para los problemas mundanos. Dejarse llevar por la corriente de un leve riachuelo y no tener que pensar nunca más en las consecuencias de nuestros actos. A veces pienso que es todo demasiado desesperado para pertenecer a una persona sola. A veces pienso que he esperado demasiado. Es curioso. A veces pienso que pienso demasiado. Otros en mi situación, no lo negaré, hace tiempo que habrían cambiado el curso del viento a su favor y hubieran barrido nuevas costas. Tal vez, de haberlo hecho, sería, acaso, más feliz de lo que nunca podría imaginar. Pero dudo, cual ser sensible, las terribles consecuencias que una sola palabra mía puedan acarrear...
He esperado poder ahuyentar los fantasmas de mi pasado. Desde mi retiro en Insel he conocido muchas cosas nuevas, otros mundos que no esperaba. Y ahora, sinceramente, desearía que todos estos mundos nunca hubieran existido.

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